Two seemingly unrelated incidents inspired me to put these words to screen (does that sound right I mean I can’t say “words to paper” in this paperless form of communication?). The first incident was an article I read online about a study on the differences in women and men with regard to physical, emotional, and sensual stimulation. The second a visit from a female friend.
The article really was just more of the “Mars/Venus” sort of viewpoint only with MRI evidence to back up theories that different areas of the brain are active when men and women are exposed to similar stimulation.
The visit, however, had one of those conversations by which I am always stunned and amazed Though I have had similar conversations over the years with different people.
I had not chatted with this lady, who I have known for quite a while, for a couple years. I’d forgotten how much I enjoyed chatting with her . She is a very intelligent as well as good looking young lady with a pleasant personality and good conversational style…but I digress (which I tend to do).
As the conversation progressed and she told me about the wonderful man she met a year or so ago and to whom she is totally dedicated and will probably be marrying I winked at her and said something along the lines of “He is a very lucky man! Would that I were so lucky.”
She looked at me rather quizzically and said “It isn’t like you didn’t have your chance.”
I’m sure I looked stunned and my jaw probably dropped. She proceeded to tell me that she had quite the crush on me around a number of years ago and tried to communicate the idea to me but just thought I was not interested in her so gave up.
I was rather taken aback by this admission but just smiled and said “Well, all for the best… as now you have found the man of your dreams.”
She smiled and voiced agreement and we moved on to other topics.
Now, not trying to sound all full of myself but as I said this is not the first time such a conversation has occurred (not that there are tons but there have been 4 or 5 in the 45 or so years I’ve been of dating age). And who knows how many other missed opportunities about which I’ve never been told. The reasons I am never aware of these opportunities usually falls into one (or more) of three categories…
It never occurs to me that ANY woman might be interested in me….
I think they are just joking around….
OR…And this is the most often…
They try to get the message across in a subtle way!!!
Any men reading this already know what I am about to say BUT for any women who may be perusing these words please pay attention…
SUBTLE DOES NOT WORK ON MEN!!!!
We are simple creatures and our level of understanding is limited at best and does not…I repeat… DOES NOT… include SUBTLE!!!
I know it particularly doesn’t work on me. Actually yelling, “I am interested in you please ask me out!” is pretty much too subtle for me.
In talking with other men over the years I find that I am not unique!!! We all basically have not got a clue when it comes to reading whether a woman is flirting with us. The “recognize subtlety Gene” is absent from our DNA!!!
Women, none of whom seem aware of the male genetic flaw (or maybe are aware but think we can learn) believe that men are capable of picking up on the tiniest of hints. A Brick with “I like You And would like to have you ask me out” written on it and thrown through a plate glass window is too subtle a “hint” for most of us.
It has been my experience that most women, at least in their minds, think they are “throwing themselves at us” with acts such as : smiling at us or laughing at something we say… Gazing in our direction…Flipping their hair… Touching our hand when we are talking… For the love of all that is good and holy in this world you need to amp it up about a hundred notches if you expect to get my or most any other man’s attention.
I sometimes truly wonder how it is that the human race has managed to continue to survive. All I can guess is a few men, obviously mutants, understand subtle and / or a few women figured out how to REALLY get a man’s attention.
I hope this RANT has been helpful and informative for all!!!