Sorry I didn’t mean to shout there in the title, but really is there some sort of misalignment in the universe? OK let me start by mentioning for those who may not know this…I am an old (61), fat (270 lbs), bald (hence the hat on in all the photos), divorced, self-employed (which in essence not only says I am poor but that I was so dreadful at every other job I had ever worked there was finally no place else that would hire me), cranky, beast of a man… So knowing this, what person in their right mind would think asking someone like me for advice is a good idea??? And yet, on a fairly regular basis people march right into my shop, sit down, look me square in the eyes, and want me to help them with their problems.
Marriage problems???? SURE let’s go ask the guy who has been divorced for over 23 years and hasn’t had a sustained relationship of more than six weeks at any time in the last ten years!!!
Financial problems???? Hey how about this guy who doesn’t have two dimes to rub together!!!
Problems with the job???? Let’s get advice from the guy who hasn’t had a REAL job for the last 20 years!!!
Problems raising the children??? Let’s ask the man who not only has no offspring but may be the first person in the history of the world, who was encouraged by the Catholic Church to use birth control (they used to send me condoms blessed by the pope…so you know they were effective).
Legal problems???? Sure let’s talk to the guy over here who never finished college and even when he attended slept through most the courses because he was out all night doing things he still can’t talk about (statute of limitations…sorry).
Fashion tips??? Have you people SEEN the way I dress???
Health Tips??? Look at me!!! My diet consists of Fried foods, cookies, cakes, and candy!!! Whatever I can’t get fried I smother in Butter or bury in sugar!! My exercise regime consists of struggling to get up out of a chair so that I can waddle to the fridge or cupboard and get more food to stuff in my pie hole!!! I chose my gym based solely on if it has a hot tub as that is the only piece of exercise equipment I ever use!!!
In fact here is the list of the only things I have even a limited expertise in…Comic Books… and…Errr…Ummm..Uhhh…WOW, Short list!
Oh well…at least it keeps me from being bored…it isn’t like I actually get paying customers coming into the place.