This morning I decided to mow the lawn at my house. OK perhaps I am making it sound like it was my idea when in point of fact after the fifth notice from the city that mowing of lawns is mandatory and if I didn’t mow my lawn in the next 24 hours they would declare my property a wildlife preserve and release a variety of “non-edible” wildlife (they added that in particular just for me as a couple years back they tried a similar tactic but all it did was save me the trouble of going to the grocery store for a few weeks). I was actually tempted to let them unleash their herds as I am not certain there really is such a thing as non-edible wild life but then they decided to play their trump card….. They called my mom!!!!
Mom called me at the ungodly hour of 8:30 AM to ream me about getting the mowing done (this should explain to those of you who know me and my sleeping habits as to why I would even be up in the morning let alone be mowing). For those who do not know, my mom will be 89 in a couple months and though she is not as spry as she once was (at least not since the hip replacement a few years ago) she is not a person to be trifled with. The main thrust of her argument was my house sits on a lot the size of a postage stamp and there is no reason I shouldn’t be able to keep it mowed and neatly trimmed when she, an 88 year old, frail, delicate, woman (her description of herself) manages to keep the acre her house sits on in “Lawn & Garden Magazine” shape. She might have carried on about my lack of drive and ambition for days save my interrupting her to say I was going to try and get it done before it got too hot. Before hanging up she demanded an updated call when I finished. So there it was I had no choice but to do the job.
As I began the job let me say in my own defense that I personally like using a scythe to make the initial first cutting, as it is a reminder of the way our forefathers toiled in the sun to make this country the great nation it is!!!! Well that and the fact that the power mower kept choking out and stalling from the huge clogs of grass it was trying to chew up and spit out.
I will not bore you with the tedious details of the actual mowing save to say it was as much a voyage of discovery as a neighborhood improvement. REALLY, I found I actually have a back porch, a patio, AND a garage….OK I guess the lawn had gotten pretty high after all. And here is the REAL bright spot…That’s a chore I won’t have to do again for a couple more years!!!!